take me to paris...not.

very few things make me absolutely envious. i mean that. i'm dramatic at times, and say things in a fashion that has a hint of truth to them, but not 100 percent accurate. it's like, when i say i hate someone - i don't really hate them. it's just my tolerance for that person is at an extreme low and really shouldn't be tried.

what am i envious of? every single person that dates jake gyllenhaal. i love him. he's my faux boyfriend. and, i mean, all i want to do his hug him, in a giant bear hug. the same type of hug i once gave mickey mouse when i was six. true story. there are others, but i don't know if that's fit to print.

what else you ask? oh, i'm ENVIOUS (capitalization: necessary) of my mom and brother for taking a trip to paris for two weeks, while i wasted away in nyc. now, before you lambast me for the before sentence, hear (read) this: i've never left the country. the furthest i have ever been is here, in nyc. well, technically, rhode island, but whatever. i was going to leave the country right after graduation, to visit ecuador with my best friend and his sister (side note: my mom is from ecuador) and that didn't happen. why? because i was moving to the greatest city in the world. so, i was never able to visit the motherland of my mom. and now, working, i don't have the luxury i once had. you know, working sucks sometimes.

if you know me, you might know i have always wanted to go to paris. ALWAYS. i mean, everyone wants to go to paris. but if you were to meet my brother and me, you would notice two things: 1) we are very different people. i see fashion, he sees car engines. i see the arts, and he thinks vin diesel deserves an oscar (my apologies to the academy for typing that sentence.) 2) desire and appreciation.

anyway, my mom told me she didn't ask me because i just started a new job (lie: i started my job about 8 months before she left. my brother started his job in june. do the math. but, i guess that's one of the perks of working at my mom's company?) and thought i wouldn't get vacation. minor truth, but i could have taken off just not the whole time. so, she left me here, in the usa all alone. sad face.

my brother and i share a series of giant fuck-ups. mine are minor in terms of his, but doesn't that buy me some sort of "take me to paris" card? no? am i being selfish? ridiculous? if you think so, then i don't want to hear it and we aren't friends.

what started this rage was this: my brother put the pictures on facebook which through me into a minor funk and i apologize to the oreo cookie container i demolished in my blind moment of decay. i was jealous he and my mom were able to experience those things. the eiffel tower. notre dame cathedral (FYI! my brother pronounced it like the school. incorrect. INCORRECT! SEE! IT SHOULD HAVE BEEN ME!) also, it then put me into a funk of who is going to visit that beautiful city with me? i can't ask my mom or brother - they would piss me off in some respect because they did it first. i need either travel virgins or friends who i love/like/tolerate. or jake gyllenhaal.

but what softened the blow: my mom sent me a little care package filled with goodies that i absolutely adore and love. the contents included:
-two scarves. before my mom left, i would send her weekly emails on one particular scarf i wanted. it was this gorgeous checkered scarf that i could find anywhere, but for some reason, i wanted it from paris. i didn't get the scarf. but, she found two awesome scarves that are exactly my taste and style and i wore one today.
-cookies. i love cookies. i love sweet things. i love cookies.
-a key chain. this is perfect for my myriad of keys i always lose at work.
-a shot glass. duh. i'm a prepster. we can never have enough shot glasses. in fact, we're always too short in shot glasses. truth.

but seriously, where is jake gyllenhaal?

late mid-twenties crisis?

yes, it's true. i've been a 27 year-old boy/man/adult for 4 full days and i am already having a crisis. case in point, i've started throwing out all of my clothes. literally. i have 3 (small) bags filled with clothes. why? i know people throw out or donate their clothes all the time. but i love clothes. i love my clothes. but, now that i am 27, i want to start acting more like an adult. i say that all the time. but, i think once i start on my outward appearance, i will then start acting like a real adult.

essentially, i've been wanting to start having work outfits. mary can attest that i have a very lax wardrobe at the office, and while i love that, and relish in the days that i can wear a hoodie to the office, i also know that i need to start being more mature. so, i thought: why not have work outfits! novel idea, dear brian. i actually think that will be more beneficial to me as well, and i have even started looking at things not as "awwww, cute. must. have. now." but rather "well, can i wear this to work and does it fit into my professional wardrobe." maturity!

the feeling on that above paragraph is i have a lot of clothes. a lot of great clothes. i can talk about clothes for days. i love fashion. i find it so interesting. and sometimes, i don't have enough of it. but, digressing, i want to start minimizing my weekend clothes and focusing on my adult week clothes. besides, let's face it - when i am doing anything on the weekends, i'm in comfy lounge clothes until it's time to go out. and then, when i do go out, i'm in a v-neck and jeans or shorts. but i guess, i'm so scared to try being more adult because ... well, i don't know why. i don't mind dressing professional. but it has to be the RIGHT type of professional. it's a trying on, and tailoring situation.

i'm also worried i am falling behind in a lot of work things. everything seems to be coming at all directions, and while i love it and love learning, i can't help but wonder if i am not being allowed to learn more. what i mean, is i don't want to feel like just hands to the people i work with. i want to participate in more, and it's frustrating when you are not needed, but needed at the same time. it's just a literal cluster fuck. but, i still love what i do, and am excited for all the new things, regardless of my personal issues with things. that's not hindering me in the long run. it's just a mild hurdle. (mildly vague paragraph)

on a side note, nicki minaj's "super bass" is highly addictive. and i mean that. i've listened to it on repeat for a while. followed by jack's mannequin. so i mean, my musical taste is highly varied.

hurricane irene also came to party for my birthday. she was fun, and provided a great backdrop to a great birthday weekend. i'm glad she decided to calm down a little, and not steal all my thunder.

i'm also really sick, and can't seem to get better. i even had a nose bleed today at work and not just one, but both nostrils decided to erupt blood out of my nose. TMI? it was mildly traumatic. and because i am sick, i haven't been able to go to the gym and that's just getting ridiculous. must go soon.

i don't have anything to add to my crisis. but crap, i'm in my late twenties. let's remember though: botox is no longer a joke, but a possibility.

let's run away

i'm coming back to the blogging world! how excited are you? probably more excited than you think you are. sometimes, it must be hard to contain yourself when you read my writing because it's just like angels typing.

i took a lovely vacation to cape cod with my friend leigh, and it's a lifestyle i could really get behind. basically, we were living a ralph lauren ad. cape cod house, golden retriever, reading on the patio - i almost didn't want to leave. it's also a really dynamic place to be/visit because of all the people and architecture.

i'm getting really bad ADD right now and am thinking about sleep and not writing coherently. so, forgive me.

ohhhhh, i'll do a quick movie review. the other day, in cape cod actually, i saw 'the help' based on the novel. now, the book as you are probably aware took the book club world by storm. told from three different perspectives with three different dialects going on. it's an engrossing novel to be honest, and a quick read. i think what i loved so much about the book - the complexity of some of the characters and the south in general - was lost in the movie. yes, the performances are excellent (i have a major crush on emma stone, and viola davis. i want to hug them.) and bryce dallas howard makes you hate her. but the movie i felt simplified a lot of things and made it more mainstream. well aware the book was a mainstream book, but i am saying they wanted to create a film that everyone would go see. so, conclusion: recommend.

continuing on a movie review, i saw "crazy, stupid, love" and that was good as well. little long, i could have used more ryan gosling shirtless, and i could have used a lot more marisa tomei. i love marisa tomei - she is JUST AMAZING. personally, while i loved her in dramatic roles like 'in the bedroom' she is just amazing as a comedic actress and undervalued/unrealized as to how funny she can be. i mean, she won an oscar for 'my cousin vinny' - it's very rare for a comedic role to win an oscar.

also, went to brunch the other day with loan, who went to college with me - she was in town on a little vacation. so, we had TWO celeb sightings. one was adrian grenier, from 'entourage' and alicia witt from 'friday night lights.' we were eating at the LPQ literally two doors down from our apartment. when both celebrities saw each other, they greeted each other and it was just surreal to see that. like, celebrities know other celebrities! i forget they have a small social circle. i also felt bad for adrian because some guy came up and asked for an autograph and you could tell he was annoyed.

also, congrats to my close friend kate for getting engaged!

til next time,
bri

thursday night.

in case you forgot, it's summer time in the big apple. which, i guess also means, it's summer time everywhere else depending on the hemisphere you reside in. that being said, let's delve into my life.

ray, mary's puppy, and i have been bonding steadily since she arrived into our apartment. i also speak to her like a human, which goes way past her adorable little head. often, she will ignore me. when she decides i am worthy of her attention, she thinks i absolutely love it when she licks my face. my smelly boy socks are her weakness, as are people walking/sitting/sleeping/running/smoking/breathing. just call me the dog-father.

i've picked up golf. i know, me? but i love mental sports and sports that rely on myself. i'm not so much a team sport person because i don't want to rely on anyone else. i'd rather blame myself for something than other people. unless, we are talking about anything besides sports, then i'm ready to blame anyone and everyone. that's actually a lie. i will pretend it never happened.

in case you missed it, gay marriage passed in new york. my mom, she merely glazed over it which means she either doesn't want grandkids, doesn't want me to marry another man, or doesn't read/watch the news. anyway, i'm now able to marry and divorce like everyone else! this brought a huge wave of different emotions to my overwhelmed self, and it's actually really sad i wasn't so like, in tune with them. at first, i thought, "holy moly! i can marry" and then it quickly metamorphosed into "holy moly, i'm single, 26 and ... WHERE HAS MY LIFE GONE!?" clearly, that's quite the jump of emotions, but let me clarify: in texas, we are birthed, dressed, and finally married. it's a quick process. and, it's just a way of life. it's like, the hamptons for the new yorkers out here.

but, it's rather amazing to now have the option. and i think it's going to be beneficial and wonderful for those who are just now coming out. they will be living in a world, well state(s), that allow gay marriage and it will seem normal, like there was never a time when you weren't allowed to marry. instead, it will be a nice chapter (sidebar?) in some book and then we will all remember what it used to be like. for those of us who have known both, it's going to be an adjustment. now, i have to think about marriage and what it means when it comes to that time when i eventually find someone i want to marry. i've seen my parents who have stayed together forevvvvvveeeeeerrrrrrrrrrr and i know i want to have that. i'm jealous of that. but let's just be honest and say my wedding will be delicious and beautiful and it won't be gaudy or resemble anything from "sex and the city 2 - let's do everything wrong." i have many more stipulations, but not now.

and, i'm wearing shorts to work tomorrow. suck it.

a reflection. yikes.

earlier this week, i was able to take in a show that just began previews "the normal heart" which is, in an easy and simple way to explain, a play about the beginning of the AIDS epidemic. it's much more than that, a political play about the frustration so many gay people had in the early stages of HIV/AIDS and those who tried to take a stand, and others who wanted to fight with grace.

it moved me. really. and not because i am gay. but it did a few things for me.

1) i have no idea who i am. and i say this because i don't know my history as a gay person. do i want to know? maybe. but i've always been the person to never let my homosexuality define who i am. honestly, i feel that me being gay is the least interesting thing about me. and i feel that i have been successful in that endeavor since i decided to come out. i have so many other qualities that make me who i am. with that, i've never demanded people respect me, and i've never yelled at anyone because my rights are not equal or attacked them for the same reason. i'm a lover, not a fighter! but in seriousness, MLK and Ghandi did this (i think. you see, i'm not very good at things like history and geography and things that require concentration) - you have to fight with rational thinking and calmness. if rome wasn't built in a day, equal rights won't happen with vicious words or swinging of fists.

so when i say i don't know who i am, i've never had to fight like people before me had to fight. i wonder if they will write about that in the history books - like women's rights or the civil rights movement. what will ours be called? the rainbow riots? the fairy war? oh, i could go on and on. but it would be an interesting read.

2) it made me realize how lucky i am. i am lucky to have a group of friends and family who completely love and trust me and accept me for who i am. no questions. i don't know if that is because we have come so far, or because we all found each other, but i am so fortunate to not worry about having a brother say to me "you aren't my equal" or parents who would rather assume i am "unwell." but as i type that, my parents probably assume i've already joined a cult and wear only black and do poetry slams on thursdays. which is a lie, since i do them on wednesdays.

story: i remember coming out to my roommate freshman year, like the day we moved in with each other - mind you, we also went to the same high school - and he is pretty conservative and he honestly didn't care. it didn't change who i was, and it didn't change the time we had. overall, it was one of the most rewarding experiences i could have had at such a young and impressionable age. so thanks college for showing me no one cares that i am gay. and thanks for putting me in the most annoyingly positioned dorm on the entire planet.

3) i belong to a group of people that are creators, artists, friends, brothers, sisters, thinkers and believers. these people have lived lives that we still talk about today - whole books have been devoted to these people - and they have changed how we do things, how we live and how we look forward. we are a group of many who have risen and have loved the world, even when we were not loved.

i say this because we can all do great things. and i say this because this above group can be said about anyone - it isn't based on sexuality.

side note, how ridiculous would it be to preface anything with "gay" or "straight" before it. ie: "this is my straight taxi cab driver." or "have you met my gay chef who makes the best cornbread in the world?" or, "this is my lesbian softball coach." ok, not the last one. there sexuality has nothing to do with how they actually perform their profession. but it does provide some individuals with a window of opportunity at 3am after a good poetry slam when they have a little background (background can come up organically in conversation, like "do you like girls or guys?")

so soak that in. soaking it in? good. now, throw some glitter in the air like you just don't care and get ready for a good time.

peace, love, and springtime,
bri bri

ah, spring. you've been hiding.

today was, in my near perfect opinion, the first gorgeous day of the year. and i say this because i was able to walk to the subway with a light jacket and not curse through my lack of having a heavier jacket. it was basically, goldilocks perfect.

you know those times, when you see the weather, and you think one particular jacket will do just fine. and you don't want to take the heavy jacket because you don't want to be the person in a parka for no real reason other than sheer misunderstanding of reading the weather. so, you take those first few morning steps into the open world and you suddenly realize you were completely and utterly foolish. and you are now wearing the wrong jacket, but don't want to go change because you are late/lazy/apathetic. not too light, not too heavy.

today, it was just right.

i even walked to the grocery store in a t-shirt. simply perfect.

so, let's welcome spring with open arms. yes, it's a fleeting day of bliss and such, but i think it's one we can look forward to. like, the anticipation of it all, for the things to come.

some things i am very excited for:

central park concerts!
each year, the new york philharmonic puts on a little show in central park, and everyone who wants to have a relaxing time goes. people bring picnic baskets and blankets and just enjoy themselves. i made my mom come one year, and even though she got lost (central park is not easy to navigate - even if one is a new yorker) and she loved it. if you do go, bring some wine, cheese (only brie, please), snacks, friends, and balloons to give people a point of reference.

movies at bryant park!
hbo sponsors this weekly event where you bring blankets and food and lounge in bryant park. the movies are usually oldies, but goodies and it's fun to just go chill in the night. i have never been to a drive-in movie theatre, and i imagine this is almost like it. plus, bryant park is right by my office so i hope to get prime viewing spots.

friends!
yes, with the warmer weather means less hibernation. which means, happy hours, drinks on various outdoor locations and clothes that do not cover 100% of the body. with summer, friends want to frolic more - and that's always a good thing.

central park!
sheep's meadow. the great lawn. laying out and tanning. need i say more? no.

tennis!
only one of my favorite sports (aside from college football and throwing back martini's) and it's on all the time.

the sun!
yes, the sun is around all. the. freaking. time. but, with summer sun means, summer tan. and we all know everyone looks better with some color. i've misplaced my tan recently and can only hope it comes back shortly.

color!
during the winter months, i go into my grey phase, where i wear a lot of grey sweaters. but i always seem to have a pop of color somewhere. anyway, with summer, i love wearing color and it makes me excited to see people in color too. it's like, in the wizard of oz, when they go from black and white to color (big deal back then. plus, her slippers were silver in the book, but they wanted to use red because they (they being the studio) wanted to utilize the new feature, technicolor) that's what spring and summer is to me. so vibrant and so much fun.

i've probably missed some. but i think you get the idea. summer is de-lovely in nyc and i can not wait to take off my shirt and rotate my body every 30 minutes until done.

oh, julie.

i figured i will write my blog like i feel right now - a little add.

i saw 'spider-man: turn off the dark' (version 1.0) on wednesday with my good friend leigh. if you want my review, please ask her because we share the same opinion on many things. and my review will be exactly like her review. it's almost like we share mindssssssssssssssssss.

my goal to start waking up early has not been a vital success. rather, i've been sleeping later and later. and therefore, going to bed later and later. this is a terrible, no good, very bad cycle of regression to my freshman year of college. and one that needs to stop. i say this, while i sit in my bed writing at 10pm on a sunday. here is hoping my early night will be an early morning. searz (as in, seriously). i need to get bikini body ready. and yes, i know i don't wear bikini's, but i do wear swim trunks and the gays can be harsh judgers.

oh, i saw an opera too this week! boy, so much culture, i should pinch myself. this time, i saw the opera, 'tosca' with laura, and we enjoyed a wonderful time. our seats were the bomb dot com. seriously. we sat in the orchestra, and were in row 'g' which is about 7 rows from the front. i actually had to count that on my fingers while singing the alphabet - thanks teachers! now, for those of you who know me, i love theatres. i have a huge affection for old theatres, including old movie houses, and for me to go to these fancy schmancy ones is just a plain joy for me. i find the architecture to be divine and so well crafted, and i often wish movie theatres were still treated with such care. instead of the whole cookie cutter idea we have going on now.

and as we finish up the weekend, i need to realize a couple things. one, i need to be more aware of how i say things and how it will possibly be perceived. honestly, and this is from a male perspective, i don't think we fully think things through. and me, i'm one to say things and just say them. i'm not a malicious person, and the things i say, while sound cruel or harsh or sassy or something that might be negative, are not actually meant to hurt. and yes, even though words hurt, i should be more aware of things and what i say. i guess, i have the mentality of just free thought, no filter. which is good and bad.

two, i need to go into yoga knowing full well my body will be mistreated and i will soak my shirt in sweat.

charming, i know.

xoxo. let's have happy days and happy weeks as we welcome the spring weather.

diet

i'm writing this while it is still fresh in my mind. please, enjoy.

my roommate, mary, sent me a link the other day about 'gray's papaya', a local hot dog joint on our street. it's rather famous in nyc, and has been seen in a few scenes in movies and television shows. the one scene i remember right now is from 'sex and the city' where carrie is in the car after the release of her book, and her driver is like, "nah, girl. we're going to celebrate" and they get hot dogs at 'gray's'.

well, the new article says 'gray's' is now serving pizza. which, is like, news. anyway, i went and had it tonight. and it's not life changing. but it's dirt cheap. and i followed the pizza with cheetos.

i need a chef.

i'm in that awkward phase...

my my my, i haven't written anything in a while. my bad. i should be better. i need to be better.

i'm slowly trying to have a complete overhaul of my life. nothing like, changing my personality (i'm already your sassy best friend! and almost perfect!) but more like, getting on an adult schedule. eating better. being a more productive member of society. those things.

sometimes, i think, "whoa, it's like i never graduated college." which needs some actual explanation. i don't party all the time, and i don't do stupid things (usually) and i don't skip work. but what i do do is stay up later than i should. eat more than i should. get the extra drink when i should stay home.

i'm trying to combat that stuff with growing up. but i guess, the real question is, when do we become - and i shudder when i say this - more like our parents. i mean this in the way that, my parents have their routine, and know what's going on and live very good lives. i feel though, my life is still sporadic and random, and i have no set schedule. i can't even get my laundry done at the same time. my mom can cook a meal with anything, and i have a meltdown the second i step into a grocery store.

when does that change for us? is it a family? kids? significant others? i can't tell you. i wish i could. but it escapes me. it's not that i am not driven, or anything. i just need to get a grip on life, hold on, and see what is going on.

don't let this come across as me becoming boring, or square. no. but what i want is the ability to get up at 7am and go to the gym. and the ability to cook meals that require some knowledge of using a stove. i want to get on the boat of responsibility and see what happens. that boat is rocking, and i'm not knocking on it and i don't have a life vest for life right now. i'm blindly trying to find my way. which, is common for people our age, i hope. it's scary to think, that even with my education and my upbringing and smarts, i don't know how to get steady again.

maybe, it's because i don't want to let friends down. and maybe it's because i don't want to miss something. there are so many 'maybe's' in this, i need to have a solid. i need that foundation because i think it's time that i understand the importance of being an adult.

now that i have typed all this, i wonder if this is what people call "responsibility." ugh.

the letter 'f'

last night, i went to an event party with my former coworkers. bourbon was the drink of the evening, and that is what i drank. i've never drank bourbon before, and will never put that poison to my lips ever again. basically, i was body slammed and came home feeling like my 21st birthday, but worse. i'm being honest. i have no idea what happened. but, there is more to the story than my drinking.

living in new york, one gets to experience a lot of different people and lot of different cultures. this also gives people what i assume a very open mind, and the ability to be accepting. except, like always, i'm not (w)right, but rather wrong.

while i was enjoying the poison with my friends, a man came up and tried to talk to us. being with girls, i understood the appeal. so i humored the stranger for a short while and then moved my arm and body to signify we were done with the conversation. he starts getting irate and starts yelling at me about all sorts of things that were neither here nor there. i turn around and tell him "we're done here" and ask him to leave us alone. well, he didn't. he started yelling more and said the ultimate word "faggot." he said this many times in the course of a few sentences and i was beyond any emotion. i felt disgraced, humiliated, broken and ugly. the words were delivered with a sense of hate, and that's something you can't just get over.

you would think, being from texas, i would have encountered more words like this, with attitudes to match. but i never did. i had a great childhood and an even more perfect family and friends. never did i ever feel wrong. so, to be called a faggot in a bar in front of friends in a neighborhood that is known to be a gay area, was shocking and still hurtful.

words, as i am sure many of you know, hurt. i've never experienced the full extent of that phrase until now. it's humbling.

i'm a fun person, i like to believe. and i am pretty liberal in many things and to have that word thrown is jarring. while the sentences were flying and the words were being hurled, i was mildly frightened about where the upcoming actions might escalate. do i fight? well, i have never been in a fight and the guy was bigger in weight than me. and i didn't know if he was going to just punch me and that was it. i didn't know what was going to happen. but i knew i didn't feel safe. but i think this was the first time in this city i have never felt unsafe,

all things considering, it ended fine. the security people took him outside and he left. nothing much to say really. done and done. and even if there was something else to say, i couldn't tell you because shortly afterwards, the poison took hold of me and my body.

total eclipse of my heart

today, the entire color palate of red threw up on the world. and i'm not one to hate on valentine's day just because i'm single right now. nope, i'm not one of those people who bemoans it and then goes all martha (as in stewart) on the holiday when they are with someone. but i do think it's an overrated holiday and just an annoying waste of red.

beside, if i want chocolate, i will buy myself chocolate. i don't need a man to buy that for me. same thing with flowers. and diamonds...well, i won't get to hasty. if he wants to buy me diamond, gggguuuuuuurrrrrrrrrrrrlllllllllllllll, it better be cartier, in a red box and big enough to make me throw off security when i walk through JFK. so, maybe there is a reason to get behind the color red.

i digress. on the subway today, everyone had roses and balloons and stuffed bears. it was exhausting to watch. even when i was dating M, and during our time together, valentine's day came and i think i told him something along the lines of this:

me: can't we just order pizza or something and watch a movie?

it's not that i am unromantic. and it's not because i didn't care about him (i did and still do, and we still talk!) i just didn't want to celebrate our relationship with everyone else watching and doing the same.

side note, for valentine's day, i bought M this mr. potato head doll from the disney store that looked like donald duck because that was his favourite character and it meant something to him. see, that was much better than flowers. plus, i played with him. the duck, not him. this isn't a romance blog.

anyway, i don't really need one exclusive day to be all lovey dovey. you feel me? plus, if you really do care, and can't decide what cartier item would look best on me, or what burberry trench i need, then surprise me with something on any other day of the year with something that is really thoughtful and all about me.

like, cartier. all i want right now, is cartier.

PS, this is the worst constructed entry ever. but i'm far to lazy to actually edit.

nyfw

two times a year, a wonderful thing happens to the big apple: fashion week. abbreviated to "nyfw" this is the time designers come, models stop eating and people who want to be thought of as avant-garde bring out the crazy and wear their closet with pride.

i know it might seem a little typical, but i love fashion. i think it is a really interesting form of art, and is a nifty way for people to express themselves. often, i always wish i could dress like a runway model (and often dream about their body...different conversation) but what i have slowly realized is this: the runway looks you often see are not made for "normal wear" - instead, they are heightened fashion outfits - not made to be copied but rather influence how you dress. basically, take a few pieces you love from the line, and make it your own.

so, because i like to pretend i am a budding socialite (i swear, if i do become a socialite, and people read this, i am joking) i was able to partake in the festivities known as nyfw. this was my first fashion show, for perry ellis. a few things to take away:

1. shows do not start on time. it's like, everyone is on european time and saunters in at least 20 minutes past the scheduled start time.
2. not all the shows are at the tents. note, the "tents" are at lincoln center and are the center of it all. the hub if you will. many designers have their own/rented/borrowed spaces throughout the city to show their line. the bigger the show/designer/name/money - the more likely you can find it at the tents.
3. this is going to be obvious, but watching a show online or on the designers site is MUCH different than actually watching it live and in the flesh. the shows themselves, they are fucking exciting.
4. the tents themselves, they don't hold thousands of people. maybe a few hundred. so to get a ticket to them, it's a big deal because well, compare that to however many people live in the city and want to see the fashion week shows.

so the show! i brought mary to the show and we were sitting in the fourth row at the end of the runway. we had a great vantage point because we would be able to see the models walk the long walk down and pause in front of us before turning around. and without warning, the lights went down, and the whole tent stopped talking. you can't even get that to happen in a movie theatre! and all of a sudden, it began. the music starts, a model appears and the lights queue to bright and it happens. look after look, the models did everything you expect them to do.

the shows are fast. 10-15 minutes of men strutting down the runway looking hot. you almost can't take it all in. but, what got me, was the energy. even though it is fast, you are so excited to see the next look, and for me, you want to revisit looks. there were some pieces i wanted to steal and, let's be honest, some of the models too. it should be like, free model with purchase. i die.

as my first fashion show, i felt like a million dollars. just walking through the main line and showing our tickets for reserved seating was the best feeling in the world. i don't know, i know i am still quite low on the totem pole, but i felt like i had arrived or something corny like that. fashion shows are just things to a lot of people, and i was able to make it a reality by actually attending one. even better, i was glad mary could join me: i feel like shows are something you should experience with people you love. kind of like, expensive wine and your first arrest. and i'm pretty sure we both were on cloud nine afterwards.

new york fashion week. it's a fucking rush.

also, mary blogged and her take can be found here.

you know you love me

gossip girl has returned. and i love it. it's like, major fluff for your brain. it's deliciously styled (i wish i dressed like the cast on a regular basis, but i am lazy and don't have hours to lounge and get ready) and witty. but remember, you have to shut off your brain - you can't just watch it and expect truth - you have to watch it and stop all reason. one of the best parts of the show happens to be the 'New York Magazine' recap - which comes out every tuesday and the writers of the blog give points for things and take away points all based on plausibility. and trust me, the plot can be unbelievable at times, but also, like the best episodes of 'mean girls' ever (if said film was a television show/real life).

and the past two episodes have taken place in the publishing world, and of course, the writers are doing their best to make sure the world of anna wintour is insane! and crazy! and packed with running around like the world is about to end. insane and crazy and lots of running! like, 'creature from the black lagoon' mixed with every b-level horror movie where people have to run.

since the writers work in publishing (as do i for a short while longer) they can write and about the truth and lack thereof. and this truth rang true:

• Blair gets assigned ten things to do in the first hour she shows up at work? Ten things that Epperly helpfully typed out on a list? Since when are internships that organized? Our interns sit around on Twitter all day and are lucky if, at some point, someone happens to pass by and ask them to make a list of things Natalie Portman said this month that made her sound fat.

truth because our interns beg to pack boxes because they are le bored. and trust me, the world where i work is not full of people dressed for a runway show and on the verge of eating a post-it note. we are calm beings - for the most part. life is like that. real life. not television.

but it's television, and yes, it's fun to see a heightened version of my life. because in my mind at times, publishing is batshit crazy.

fly away with me

as many of you know, i love film. to an insane degree. i love the advertising aspect of films, the joy of a friday night opening and of course, award season. each year, my whole five-year old self comes out to play and like a kid in the sand, i go nuts. i watch what everyone wears, i listen to their speeches and i approve or judge who won.

lately, i have wanted to have some changes - some shake-ups and surprises when the awards are handed out and even those who are nominated. while i am (sadly!) not a voting member of the academy, i hope the voting members are not easily swayed by the media and the "for your consideration" ads found in the trade magazines. meaning, i hope everyone allowed to vote actually watches the films that are nominated. ps, i would love to join the academy. it would be a dream come true. seriously.

so, this also makes me wonder why some people are nominated, while others are not. i don't know the whole nomination process (it's lengthy i've come to find out per my research) and it intrigues me that some people are not nominated though i often think they should be. examples would be this years documentary race, where the hilarious "joan rivers: a piece of work" and interesting "waiting for superman" were not nominated - even though both were critical darlings in the film community and general public.

another example (but there is a reason!) would be the costume design for darren aronofsky's "black swan." the dark film has costumes designed by kate and laura mulleavy - and i know most people will not know who those are. but the sisters are the creative duo behind the fashion line 'rodarte' which i hope many of you have heard of. if you have seen the film, you know the costumes are a major component of the film (as well as the score which gives it a nice off-key tone and the art direction) - the sisters handmade the ballet costumes and the crown. long story longer, they were not eligible by the academy.

and here is the reason: it's about getting credit where it is due. meaning, the sisters didn't negotiate being credited in the final cut of the film and only the official designer of the film will get the nomination. which hurts the sisters and the general costumers because sometimes, and "black swan" being an example, the costumes helped make the picture. and in my naive world, i feel they did the most work and helped give the film a feeling.

i wish they would take a play from the tonys, which awarded all three leads for "billy elliot" the tony for best actor. normally, the tonys nominate the individual who acted the part on opening night - but the organization overruled and it was for the better.

so any thoughts? any people you actually wished was (or have been) nominated that wasn't?

when you dream

so, it has happened. that one obstacle we must all eventually come too: the second job.

it's true, empty internet space and few readers - i have accepted a new job. this is important for a variety of reasons.

1) i am moving back into advertising. i have always loved advertising. i find it truly interesting and it is something i love through and through. i've grappled (i am sure you have read) with the notion of where i fit in with advertising and this new job is the perfect starting off point to get me where i want to be. plus, the client is just awesome.

2) as much as i love my current position and the people i work with, i was starting to itch. i think it was because it was my first job, and i wanted to really begin my career. i say that because when i graduated, i didn't know exactly where i fit in (point 1) and there were no job opportunities available because the recession was swinging its big stick and demolishing everything in site. so, i'm not saying i took the first job that was waved in my face, but i did take a job that i thought "maybe this will be perfect." and it was perfect for then, but overall, i don't think it was perfect for the future. someone else is going to get my job, and they are going to love it and make it theirs. i wish them all the luck.

3) i am living in the big apple, and have moved jobs. this. is. HUGE! yes, i am very lucky to have a job, and even luckier to not have a lapse in working. and it means i am mildly successful in establishing myself in the city. i hope that doesn't come across as cocky. i just am really excited that i can make a move and not be lost.

so that's that. i am going to miss some things about my job, but excited and overjoyed about the new things i will learn and experience. which is what is really important i do believe.

in other news, snow has fallen all over the city and it's past the point of acceptable. really, i would like to fast forward to early spring and enjoy the sun because i am in dire need of a tan. i think most of new york can agree with me on that. i mean, i saw a picture of me on facebook and it was insane - almost on par with edward cullen. yeah, i went there.

i'm off to go burrow.

maybe we should love the alarm clock.

as part of my daily routine, i get up in the mornings, and i get dressed. sometimes, i dress well. other times, i dress exceptionally well. depending on how exceptional i am at getting my feet into my pants and my shoes on right is a matter that rests completely on the idea of time. meaning, the earlier i get up, the more time i can throw on three different outfits as opposed to just 1.5.

but i have recently come across a much better reason to get up early. i know, i know. this is what you are thinking:

you: but, what is better than getting up early to try on multiple outfits? there is nothing -
me (cutting you off with a hand to the face and a look of "duh") ABC family.

yes, it's true. the early mornings are ripe with television shows i grew up with. nostalgia is what this is called. so, i get up in the mornings, feed francis, our fish, eat my breakfast and sit on the sofa and remember what it was like to be in elementary school. i know tbs has saved by the bell. but mr. feeny! and all those lessons about being good. i just can't get enough. and you can even find 'sabrina, the teenage witch' which always makes me wonder if clarissa really explain it all.

and the great thing is, these people we watched grow up, graduate, and eventually get cancelled is this: they don't get put in the tabloids for doing blow. or rehab. or anything like, exhaustion. the kids of yesteryear, in my humble opinion, were clean, great people. i mean, the only thing that is really stopping them are poor movie/television choices. but i guess they can laugh all the way to the bank because syndication pays the big bucks.

but, in the end, we have dvr. and tomorrow, i still plan on looking good. it's friday afterall.

happy new year!

scene: the prepster apartment, saturday morning/afternoon, winter
issue: the cable is down

yes, it's true. the cable, the gorgeous cable that beams through from the heavens into our television, is down. not working. access has been denied. life, as we know it, will continue. but so far, on this cold, winter day, it looks bleak. and being mildly ill (still?!?!? it's been like a week, at least) all i want to do is curl up, like a big cute fluffy dog, and lay on the sofa watching all the trashy television i can, knowing full well my brain cells are escaping at an alarming rate.

the tv screen is dark. so, i do what people in the old times did. i got on my phone and called people. followed by a short reading of the new york times, and some blog reading. not too shabby. but i will try not to make a habit of this. it's hard.

the good ladies at "a tale of two cities" did a little end of the year quiz. and to help me through my plague of no television, i have decided to do it.

______ was so not worth stressing over.
All I could listen to this year was ________.
Next year I promise to________.
The best thing I ate in 2010 was ________.
The night of the Lost series finale I was ________.
_______will be the new cupcake flavor in 2011.
I'm proud that I ________ this year.
Remember when Kanye ________?

My answers:

that one guy was so not worth stressing over.
All I could listen to this year was the glee cast album.
Next year I promise to have more confidence in the things i do.
The best thing I ate in 2010 was the appetizer and dessert at nougatin (the main course, not so much).
The night of the Lost series finale I was on the UWS, with good friends.
cupcakes without icing will be the new cupcake flavor in 2011.
I'm proud that I didn't change who i am because of where i work this year.
Remember when Kanye 's tweets were turned into songs by josh groban?

so it's the new year. and i hope it is delightful. i have my resolutions - the same ones i will break soon, don't worry. but i hope i can make a change. i'm like, getting older. i wish you all a great new year, and can't wait to see what is in store.

ps, if our cable isn't fixed soon, i might go ballistic and actually go outside.