Tuesday, August 30, 2011

late mid-twenties crisis?

yes, it's true. i've been a 27 year-old boy/man/adult for 4 full days and i am already having a crisis. case in point, i've started throwing out all of my clothes. literally. i have 3 (small) bags filled with clothes. why? i know people throw out or donate their clothes all the time. but i love clothes. i love my clothes. but, now that i am 27, i want to start acting more like an adult. i say that all the time. but, i think once i start on my outward appearance, i will then start acting like a real adult.

essentially, i've been wanting to start having work outfits. mary can attest that i have a very lax wardrobe at the office, and while i love that, and relish in the days that i can wear a hoodie to the office, i also know that i need to start being more mature. so, i thought: why not have work outfits! novel idea, dear brian. i actually think that will be more beneficial to me as well, and i have even started looking at things not as "awwww, cute. must. have. now." but rather "well, can i wear this to work and does it fit into my professional wardrobe." maturity!

the feeling on that above paragraph is i have a lot of clothes. a lot of great clothes. i can talk about clothes for days. i love fashion. i find it so interesting. and sometimes, i don't have enough of it. but, digressing, i want to start minimizing my weekend clothes and focusing on my adult week clothes. besides, let's face it - when i am doing anything on the weekends, i'm in comfy lounge clothes until it's time to go out. and then, when i do go out, i'm in a v-neck and jeans or shorts. but i guess, i'm so scared to try being more adult because ... well, i don't know why. i don't mind dressing professional. but it has to be the RIGHT type of professional. it's a trying on, and tailoring situation.

i'm also worried i am falling behind in a lot of work things. everything seems to be coming at all directions, and while i love it and love learning, i can't help but wonder if i am not being allowed to learn more. what i mean, is i don't want to feel like just hands to the people i work with. i want to participate in more, and it's frustrating when you are not needed, but needed at the same time. it's just a literal cluster fuck. but, i still love what i do, and am excited for all the new things, regardless of my personal issues with things. that's not hindering me in the long run. it's just a mild hurdle. (mildly vague paragraph)

on a side note, nicki minaj's "super bass" is highly addictive. and i mean that. i've listened to it on repeat for a while. followed by jack's mannequin. so i mean, my musical taste is highly varied.

hurricane irene also came to party for my birthday. she was fun, and provided a great backdrop to a great birthday weekend. i'm glad she decided to calm down a little, and not steal all my thunder.

i'm also really sick, and can't seem to get better. i even had a nose bleed today at work and not just one, but both nostrils decided to erupt blood out of my nose. TMI? it was mildly traumatic. and because i am sick, i haven't been able to go to the gym and that's just getting ridiculous. must go soon.

i don't have anything to add to my crisis. but crap, i'm in my late twenties. let's remember though: botox is no longer a joke, but a possibility.

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