a reflection. yikes.

earlier this week, i was able to take in a show that just began previews "the normal heart" which is, in an easy and simple way to explain, a play about the beginning of the AIDS epidemic. it's much more than that, a political play about the frustration so many gay people had in the early stages of HIV/AIDS and those who tried to take a stand, and others who wanted to fight with grace.

it moved me. really. and not because i am gay. but it did a few things for me.

1) i have no idea who i am. and i say this because i don't know my history as a gay person. do i want to know? maybe. but i've always been the person to never let my homosexuality define who i am. honestly, i feel that me being gay is the least interesting thing about me. and i feel that i have been successful in that endeavor since i decided to come out. i have so many other qualities that make me who i am. with that, i've never demanded people respect me, and i've never yelled at anyone because my rights are not equal or attacked them for the same reason. i'm a lover, not a fighter! but in seriousness, MLK and Ghandi did this (i think. you see, i'm not very good at things like history and geography and things that require concentration) - you have to fight with rational thinking and calmness. if rome wasn't built in a day, equal rights won't happen with vicious words or swinging of fists.

so when i say i don't know who i am, i've never had to fight like people before me had to fight. i wonder if they will write about that in the history books - like women's rights or the civil rights movement. what will ours be called? the rainbow riots? the fairy war? oh, i could go on and on. but it would be an interesting read.

2) it made me realize how lucky i am. i am lucky to have a group of friends and family who completely love and trust me and accept me for who i am. no questions. i don't know if that is because we have come so far, or because we all found each other, but i am so fortunate to not worry about having a brother say to me "you aren't my equal" or parents who would rather assume i am "unwell." but as i type that, my parents probably assume i've already joined a cult and wear only black and do poetry slams on thursdays. which is a lie, since i do them on wednesdays.

story: i remember coming out to my roommate freshman year, like the day we moved in with each other - mind you, we also went to the same high school - and he is pretty conservative and he honestly didn't care. it didn't change who i was, and it didn't change the time we had. overall, it was one of the most rewarding experiences i could have had at such a young and impressionable age. so thanks college for showing me no one cares that i am gay. and thanks for putting me in the most annoyingly positioned dorm on the entire planet.

3) i belong to a group of people that are creators, artists, friends, brothers, sisters, thinkers and believers. these people have lived lives that we still talk about today - whole books have been devoted to these people - and they have changed how we do things, how we live and how we look forward. we are a group of many who have risen and have loved the world, even when we were not loved.

i say this because we can all do great things. and i say this because this above group can be said about anyone - it isn't based on sexuality.

side note, how ridiculous would it be to preface anything with "gay" or "straight" before it. ie: "this is my straight taxi cab driver." or "have you met my gay chef who makes the best cornbread in the world?" or, "this is my lesbian softball coach." ok, not the last one. there sexuality has nothing to do with how they actually perform their profession. but it does provide some individuals with a window of opportunity at 3am after a good poetry slam when they have a little background (background can come up organically in conversation, like "do you like girls or guys?")

so soak that in. soaking it in? good. now, throw some glitter in the air like you just don't care and get ready for a good time.

peace, love, and springtime,
bri bri