i love advertising. but maybe not the advertising i thought i loved?

this might be a word vomit post.

the first few moments of spring have occured. and i must say, the city of new york is a glorious place to be. she looks great dressed in sunlight. all bright and cheerful. like a well dressed woman who is showing some leg for the first time in a while. a welcome shock that sends your heart racing just a wee bit.

a lot has happened in the past few weeks and i would love the chance to share.

first, we all know i have been trying to better myself through the education of higher learning from SVA. it's been a great run, but i have realized that i overdid it by taking two classes this semester. i should have stuck with one and focused all my attention on that. with that, i am thinking about taking the class, or one of the classes over again next semester. that is, if i don't have a job by then. which, let's hope i do. this economy better get the ball rolling in kicking butt again because i am not going to have it any longer. nor do i think most other people will either. it's a pretty depressing state still.

however, these classes have taught me something. and that something is this: i might not really love creative as much as i thought i did when i first started out. i mean, i love being creative and i love creating things and it is truely a gift that i have. so i am pretty fortunate. but, the whole experience has left this dreadful taste in my mouth. working on the ads, i find myself not even inspired or able to think. it becomes a frustrating endeavor because i just can't get into it! i don't understand. i stare and the paper and keep working on ideas and everything just feels ridiculous. not even a new idea comes to me. and i try to just go crazy.

but i have had this mentality that i am afraid of failing. i blame school for this. because it has ingrained in me this idea that i need to get an 'A' and if i don't, then i have failed as an individual, and therefore have brought shame to my parents for not succeeding and shame to my professors who thought i could have done better.

but i think the true error in all of this is that people in advertising try to pigeon hole you into one thing or another. Copywriter. Art Director. Account. i don't think that you should or can. i do agree some people are better with art than others. And some like words more than others. It's their choice. But i love both. i enjoy layouts and words. additionally, i think that it is important to know both and realize how both work. maybe though, that is what portfolio school is for? oh gosh, another can of worms i just opened.

through this storm of self discovery, i actually have some great news! an amazing agency by the name of mccann erickson called me and told me i was part of their summer internship program as a copywriter! which is by far awesome of awesome. i danced and jumped on the corner of 87th and lexington.

it might not be the best thing to take an internship. afterall, i am almost two years out of college and should get on with my life. but the world (read: the u.s. economy) managed to implode on itself and happened to do it right when i was graduating. sweet.

i am still looking for the job of a lifetime. or the job for right now. i am pretty blessed to have parents and friends who are still supportive. i owe them something nice when i get rich.

snow day.

today was a snow day for much of manhattan. which is really odd when you think about it because i figured as a city, we would be more than ready for a snow storm. we do have an underground transportation system afterall. but really, it gave everyone and their sweatered dog a reason to leave work early or not go to work at all. which is fine by me.

except, snow hurts. i was pelted in the eye twice by those pretty, light-as-a-feather droplets of frozen beauty. straight in the eye. and it didn't hit me gingerly either. it was like the firing of a musket from above straight into my eye. my left eye, both times, to be exact. that story is neither here nor there.

this week has also given me my first foray into food poisoning. judging by the effects i endured, i would never wish for that on anyone. the jury is still out on the culprit of said poisoning, but let's just say i haven't really changed my diet. i will never learn. but it did make me yearn for my mother and her tender care to take excellent care of me. instead, i hobbled to my own kitchen to fetch my own water which was just a tad to cold for my poor souls liking. and i am kidding. but not really. i do miss my mom and her always there with food and drink self. it's hard being an adult and taking care of yourself. i should have been better prepared for life.

internship is going well too. i have realized i excel in my writing once i have a greater understanding of the client and the actual goal of the campaign. and i guess that is a pretty duh statement, but once i get emotionally invested, we are good to go.

and classes are going well. i like the copywriting class more than the portfolio class. which is ridiculous because the are basically the same class, just in a different building with different professors. but i like the criticalness of them. and the ability to show my work, however shitty it is. more on the classes later for sure. i am going to bed because i am le tired.

oh look, the future is portable.

http://www.wired.com/gadgetlab/2010/02/ipad-future/

that above article is really quite interesting on what the future will be for computing. but also, will bring about a new way of advertising? a cleaner way of advertising perhaps?

i don't actually own an iphone. and it isn't because i don't dream about it on a regular basis. i am an apple person. but my family has a carrier other than AT&T, and really, this is getting quite personal isn't it? oh well. i love apple products. end of the paragraph.

but really, i am trying to make a point on advertising. such as, how will advertising work on these new pads? how will advertising work for these new "apps" that are what some say are improvements on the original site. and by some, i mean the person who wrote the article.

i hope advertising does become cleaner. and less annoying. but i wish we didn't need a new thing to do that for us.

i'm not afraid of school.

so, i have begun a grand escape into higher education. the school of visual arts (sva) is my new home for two classes - portfolio and copywriting. monday was my first class, and it was a doozy. it made me have a tidal wave of emotions that i haven't felt in a long time. most importantly, it made me realize my huge and undying love for advertising.

which, i think is the most important take away from this next semester. as i have been living in nyc for almost 2 years, i have constantly viewed my career as futile. i have had internships and minor jobs, but never a real job, with a real salary and benefits. so i think for me, and most other people in my predicament, i have searched and searched to understand if my job was the right one for me because if it was, then i would be employed.

but then, you have to remember you are one in a million, or thousand at least, in the same situation, gunning for the same thing. which sucks about as hard as being eaten by a bear. because it's a recession, and the economy is an ugly thing right now. and to add with that, you are also competing for the same thing as everyone else.

thirty minutes into the class, i knew i loved it. and i was going to love advertising. it has been a good while since i have been in a classroom, and a while since i have been allowed to think creatively. and it was a glorious and amazing thing to be given full freedom to just create.

i hope these classes give me some great and amazing and lovely things to put in my portfolio. because let's be honest, i want a job. it's my dream and it's exactly who i am.

good news.

The past few days have been rather interesting in job searching.

Part A)

I have been searching for internships to coincide with my schooling. I have just been cold calling agencies and someone actually answered. talking to the person on the other line, it sounded like i might have a decent chance. they never said no, or that they didn't have any space. i figured if they didn't have room, or weren't interested in general, they would have said no. or given me the brush off.

a few weeks went by and i heard nothing, so i followed up. it was right before the holidays and i knew most agencies were closed or not even thinking of hiring/internships/etc. again, she just asked me to give my link to view my work.

PS, i am trying really hard not to say "he" or "she" so i am doing my best to keep it generic.

anyway, received an email later that day saying they had viewed my work and didn't have anything at the time. fair enough.

it just got me really down because it sounded like i had a shot. or at least, something could come of it. and maybe i am not what they are looking for. which is fine. and i totally respect that. but it's rough and difficult to think you see some light at the end of the tunnel and it's gone. just like that. i guess i would have enjoyed a little more upfrontness of it when i first began talking to the agency. such as "well, we might have an internship. it depends on such and such." or "we don't have anything available."

the second sentence is actually what was responded to me. followed by keeping my info on file. it's terrible when all you want is experience and to do what you love and you can't even do that. but it makes me want it more.

Part B)

i had applied for an internship for an agency and went in for an interview this morning. turns out, they liked me and i I will begin next monday. it's a chance for me to remember what agencies are like, and to work on some excellent brands writing long copy. it's two days a week and i hope i will learn a lot that will give me the experience to hit up some bigger agencies or at least find a job as a junior copywriter.

the position will be for one month. talking to HR, she said if it is a good fit, and i am enjoying it they will extend it. sounds promising. i just need to soak up as much as possible during this stint and really make my mark.

interestingly, it doesn't seem like an internship program, like other agencies i have worked with during college. so i feel this might feel more like a "freelance" position, even though it will be an internship.

this doesn't mean i am going to stop looking for positions, or give up on school. this is just the start of what i need for the new year.

interview one of the new year

i have just returned home from an interview. that's right, a real interview. it is for an internship position as a graphic designer.

i was awake, bright and early - well, it was 6:30 in the a.m. so not that bright - and arrived at the pearly gates around 8:35. i was ten minutes early for my interview and waited patiently for security to make contact with my contact. for the next thirty minutes, i stood in the grand lobby waiting. around me, other interns gabbed and cooed at each other, while i stood around wondering if i was an idiot or had made a mistake on the time, location, etc.

eventually, someone i knew let me up to the building and i waited in their "lobby" for 5 minutes. the interviewee was about forty-five minutes late to the interview and apologized. that's all you really can do in that instance.

the interview went fine. she never looked me in the eye and kept saying "Hmmm, Hmmmm." Followed by, "you have a lot of experience." i do have experience. but not enough experience. i want more experience so people will hire me instead of saying "you have a lot of experience." it's a constant circular battle.

i actually do want the internship. it is for a great company and i know i would learn tons as a designer. and who knows, it might even parlay into an actual job.

what i have gained from this experience is that no matter how prepared you are, people are already going to have their perceptions of you and your work. there is no going around that. so it's all about presentation and being present. ready to jump on their critiques and prove them otherwise. i didn't do that as much this time, but i will next time i have an interview.

so nice. so nice.

it's cold in new york city, and it isn't unusual. more of a statement. the real annoyance with the cold though, is the amount of clothes you have to put on in order to leave the apartment. it's like, you have to pile it all on, and the second you enter a building, you have to take it all off. because all the buildings are warm. hot. so you essentially look like a bag lady carrying all of your luggage trying to find something in a store. plus, you have encourage your coats and baggage not to hit everything in sight, thus knocking down precious goods.

other than that, today has been pretty full of exercise and reading. i just started "the amazing adventures of kavalier and clay" and am hoping it's as good as they say.