the world will be watching....

last weekend, i went back in time and became a tween. i know, i'm like 14 years past reasonable and plausible tween years, but get over it. the night started as so: around 10PM. i stopped at a bodega and procured the following: vanilla coca cola (i'm a dr pepper drinker, through and through, for the end of time, i should be buried with a pack. but once in a while, i crave a vanilla coke. it's not cheating. and, i never see it in nyc, so it's like a mini vacation for my mouth. but i always come home to my precious DP.), pockey, and harbo gummy bears. as a tween, i must stay on a strict tween diet. as a tween, one would assume a parental unit would take me to the theatre - instead, i have the MTA, and took the subway. i guess i can't always follow the tween life. and finally, i arrived at the theatre where i found my seat along all the other fans, ready to watch, grimace, and cheer as 24 tributes participated in the 74th annual hunger games.

mary kindly printed me her ticket (thanks! slash, i owe you a movie) and i waited with giddy anticipation for the BEST MOVIE OF OUR TIME. that's a little far, but the build-up for this thing has been tremendously well timed AND well thought out. if you don't believe me, take a look at this NYTimes article which is very interesting and discusses the marketing/advertising campaign for the movie. seriously, they did an amazing job and really intensified the whole thing for me - complete with a long roll-out, tease, campaign, etc. overall, the marketing reminded me of 'jaws', which is famous for not showing the shark for about 45 minutes into the movie. it's about the anticipation, and some people forget that. a lot of people forget that. but considering the source material, which is about strategy, while also playing to your people without giving too much away at first, the marketing team did an impeccable job of keeping everyone hungry (pun, not really intended) for more.

anyway, i attended the movie with valerie and brittany, who also joined me in being a tween. we talked about boys, we ate the snacks and gave dirty looks to the girls behind us. clearly, we were on the more popular end of the spectrum. and finally, the lights dimmed. the screen flickered and we were subjected to some of my most favorite things of a movie: the trailers.

long story short, the most important trailer we enjoyed was: TITANIC 3D. i mean, they really know their target demographic. well done, paramount. well done.

so, the movie. it. was. amazing. i loved it. i don't want to give too much away, since many might not have seen it (are you guys not on 'the hunger games' train? because, we've boarded and i'm sorry you can't come play with us at the capitol.). i have a few issues with the film, most notably the camera work, but i understand they were trying to put us in the moment, in katniss's shoes. they obviously had to change some things for flow and pace, and i accepted that.

the most interesting thing to note was the violence. the novel touched on the violence and described it in graphic detail, especially for a YA novel. a couple of reviews i've read stated how they felt the violence was too nice, that it was depicted in a way where a viewer wouldn't leave with a feeling of disgust or remorse; essentially saying the violence was weak for the viewer. i disagree. i found it humiliating, and gross and it bothered me. i'm not a complete girl for violence, and understand the need for it in a story. but the director and his team did an excellent job in showing the violence on screen without making it gratuitous. i mean, they did this for a couple of reasons: one, being the rating by the MPAA. the second (my opinion) is: how much violence is really necessary to tell a compelling and intriguing story for the masses? for those who have read the books, we understand there is violence in the book and will be in the movie. but we don't need to have a complete and exact translation of bloodshed from page to screen. further, these are children. these are school children who, in the context of the film, don't all want to be there (clearly, there are a few who relish in the games...). i'm sorry, but i don't need to have a lingering shot of a harpoon sticking through someone. i'm old enough to imagine the pain and gore that is associated with such a thing and the overall takeaway from the harpoon isn't that she died, but rather the sadness that comes from such an ending to a person.

gary ross and team did an excellent job in taking the most important aspects of the story, dialing it back a tad, and also changing the topic to not just violence, but to "how does violence affect the person committing/witnessing/watching the action."

at the same time, it's interesting to see a film tackle the aspects of violence as sport, while we currently live in an era where we try to fight violence being shown in the media. now, that's a thesis topic.

anyway, go see the movie. and may the odds be ever in your favor.

a reflection. yikes.

earlier this week, i was able to take in a show that just began previews "the normal heart" which is, in an easy and simple way to explain, a play about the beginning of the AIDS epidemic. it's much more than that, a political play about the frustration so many gay people had in the early stages of HIV/AIDS and those who tried to take a stand, and others who wanted to fight with grace.

it moved me. really. and not because i am gay. but it did a few things for me.

1) i have no idea who i am. and i say this because i don't know my history as a gay person. do i want to know? maybe. but i've always been the person to never let my homosexuality define who i am. honestly, i feel that me being gay is the least interesting thing about me. and i feel that i have been successful in that endeavor since i decided to come out. i have so many other qualities that make me who i am. with that, i've never demanded people respect me, and i've never yelled at anyone because my rights are not equal or attacked them for the same reason. i'm a lover, not a fighter! but in seriousness, MLK and Ghandi did this (i think. you see, i'm not very good at things like history and geography and things that require concentration) - you have to fight with rational thinking and calmness. if rome wasn't built in a day, equal rights won't happen with vicious words or swinging of fists.

so when i say i don't know who i am, i've never had to fight like people before me had to fight. i wonder if they will write about that in the history books - like women's rights or the civil rights movement. what will ours be called? the rainbow riots? the fairy war? oh, i could go on and on. but it would be an interesting read.

2) it made me realize how lucky i am. i am lucky to have a group of friends and family who completely love and trust me and accept me for who i am. no questions. i don't know if that is because we have come so far, or because we all found each other, but i am so fortunate to not worry about having a brother say to me "you aren't my equal" or parents who would rather assume i am "unwell." but as i type that, my parents probably assume i've already joined a cult and wear only black and do poetry slams on thursdays. which is a lie, since i do them on wednesdays.

story: i remember coming out to my roommate freshman year, like the day we moved in with each other - mind you, we also went to the same high school - and he is pretty conservative and he honestly didn't care. it didn't change who i was, and it didn't change the time we had. overall, it was one of the most rewarding experiences i could have had at such a young and impressionable age. so thanks college for showing me no one cares that i am gay. and thanks for putting me in the most annoyingly positioned dorm on the entire planet.

3) i belong to a group of people that are creators, artists, friends, brothers, sisters, thinkers and believers. these people have lived lives that we still talk about today - whole books have been devoted to these people - and they have changed how we do things, how we live and how we look forward. we are a group of many who have risen and have loved the world, even when we were not loved.

i say this because we can all do great things. and i say this because this above group can be said about anyone - it isn't based on sexuality.

side note, how ridiculous would it be to preface anything with "gay" or "straight" before it. ie: "this is my straight taxi cab driver." or "have you met my gay chef who makes the best cornbread in the world?" or, "this is my lesbian softball coach." ok, not the last one. there sexuality has nothing to do with how they actually perform their profession. but it does provide some individuals with a window of opportunity at 3am after a good poetry slam when they have a little background (background can come up organically in conversation, like "do you like girls or guys?")

so soak that in. soaking it in? good. now, throw some glitter in the air like you just don't care and get ready for a good time.

peace, love, and springtime,
bri bri

i'm in that awkward phase...

my my my, i haven't written anything in a while. my bad. i should be better. i need to be better.

i'm slowly trying to have a complete overhaul of my life. nothing like, changing my personality (i'm already your sassy best friend! and almost perfect!) but more like, getting on an adult schedule. eating better. being a more productive member of society. those things.

sometimes, i think, "whoa, it's like i never graduated college." which needs some actual explanation. i don't party all the time, and i don't do stupid things (usually) and i don't skip work. but what i do do is stay up later than i should. eat more than i should. get the extra drink when i should stay home.

i'm trying to combat that stuff with growing up. but i guess, the real question is, when do we become - and i shudder when i say this - more like our parents. i mean this in the way that, my parents have their routine, and know what's going on and live very good lives. i feel though, my life is still sporadic and random, and i have no set schedule. i can't even get my laundry done at the same time. my mom can cook a meal with anything, and i have a meltdown the second i step into a grocery store.

when does that change for us? is it a family? kids? significant others? i can't tell you. i wish i could. but it escapes me. it's not that i am not driven, or anything. i just need to get a grip on life, hold on, and see what is going on.

don't let this come across as me becoming boring, or square. no. but what i want is the ability to get up at 7am and go to the gym. and the ability to cook meals that require some knowledge of using a stove. i want to get on the boat of responsibility and see what happens. that boat is rocking, and i'm not knocking on it and i don't have a life vest for life right now. i'm blindly trying to find my way. which, is common for people our age, i hope. it's scary to think, that even with my education and my upbringing and smarts, i don't know how to get steady again.

maybe, it's because i don't want to let friends down. and maybe it's because i don't want to miss something. there are so many 'maybe's' in this, i need to have a solid. i need that foundation because i think it's time that i understand the importance of being an adult.

now that i have typed all this, i wonder if this is what people call "responsibility." ugh.