i love advertising. but maybe not the advertising i thought i loved?

this might be a word vomit post.

the first few moments of spring have occured. and i must say, the city of new york is a glorious place to be. she looks great dressed in sunlight. all bright and cheerful. like a well dressed woman who is showing some leg for the first time in a while. a welcome shock that sends your heart racing just a wee bit.

a lot has happened in the past few weeks and i would love the chance to share.

first, we all know i have been trying to better myself through the education of higher learning from SVA. it's been a great run, but i have realized that i overdid it by taking two classes this semester. i should have stuck with one and focused all my attention on that. with that, i am thinking about taking the class, or one of the classes over again next semester. that is, if i don't have a job by then. which, let's hope i do. this economy better get the ball rolling in kicking butt again because i am not going to have it any longer. nor do i think most other people will either. it's a pretty depressing state still.

however, these classes have taught me something. and that something is this: i might not really love creative as much as i thought i did when i first started out. i mean, i love being creative and i love creating things and it is truely a gift that i have. so i am pretty fortunate. but, the whole experience has left this dreadful taste in my mouth. working on the ads, i find myself not even inspired or able to think. it becomes a frustrating endeavor because i just can't get into it! i don't understand. i stare and the paper and keep working on ideas and everything just feels ridiculous. not even a new idea comes to me. and i try to just go crazy.

but i have had this mentality that i am afraid of failing. i blame school for this. because it has ingrained in me this idea that i need to get an 'A' and if i don't, then i have failed as an individual, and therefore have brought shame to my parents for not succeeding and shame to my professors who thought i could have done better.

but i think the true error in all of this is that people in advertising try to pigeon hole you into one thing or another. Copywriter. Art Director. Account. i don't think that you should or can. i do agree some people are better with art than others. And some like words more than others. It's their choice. But i love both. i enjoy layouts and words. additionally, i think that it is important to know both and realize how both work. maybe though, that is what portfolio school is for? oh gosh, another can of worms i just opened.

through this storm of self discovery, i actually have some great news! an amazing agency by the name of mccann erickson called me and told me i was part of their summer internship program as a copywriter! which is by far awesome of awesome. i danced and jumped on the corner of 87th and lexington.

it might not be the best thing to take an internship. afterall, i am almost two years out of college and should get on with my life. but the world (read: the u.s. economy) managed to implode on itself and happened to do it right when i was graduating. sweet.

i am still looking for the job of a lifetime. or the job for right now. i am pretty blessed to have parents and friends who are still supportive. i owe them something nice when i get rich.

snow day.

today was a snow day for much of manhattan. which is really odd when you think about it because i figured as a city, we would be more than ready for a snow storm. we do have an underground transportation system afterall. but really, it gave everyone and their sweatered dog a reason to leave work early or not go to work at all. which is fine by me.

except, snow hurts. i was pelted in the eye twice by those pretty, light-as-a-feather droplets of frozen beauty. straight in the eye. and it didn't hit me gingerly either. it was like the firing of a musket from above straight into my eye. my left eye, both times, to be exact. that story is neither here nor there.

this week has also given me my first foray into food poisoning. judging by the effects i endured, i would never wish for that on anyone. the jury is still out on the culprit of said poisoning, but let's just say i haven't really changed my diet. i will never learn. but it did make me yearn for my mother and her tender care to take excellent care of me. instead, i hobbled to my own kitchen to fetch my own water which was just a tad to cold for my poor souls liking. and i am kidding. but not really. i do miss my mom and her always there with food and drink self. it's hard being an adult and taking care of yourself. i should have been better prepared for life.

internship is going well too. i have realized i excel in my writing once i have a greater understanding of the client and the actual goal of the campaign. and i guess that is a pretty duh statement, but once i get emotionally invested, we are good to go.

and classes are going well. i like the copywriting class more than the portfolio class. which is ridiculous because the are basically the same class, just in a different building with different professors. but i like the criticalness of them. and the ability to show my work, however shitty it is. more on the classes later for sure. i am going to bed because i am le tired.